Finding purpose in life, for Women

Finding purpose in life, for Women

by Denise DeJonge, LMSW, SSW

Who Am I, You Ask? … Good Question

You have seen me around, I have many names: Mom, Wife, Aunt, Daughter, School Room Mom, Employee, Volunteer, Caretaker, Sunday School Teacher. But who am I really? I wonder sometimes. And what is my purpose?

What I don’t want you to know about me is: I am anxious, I am depressed, I am tired, I am insecure, I am spread thin while my hips spread wider, I put myself last, I am invisible. But yet, I continue to smile, give freely of myself, and I really wouldn’t want it any other way.

Research shows that many women in their 40-60’s experience a time when they question what their purpose in life is. It used to be called Mid-Life Crisis, “but what they are facing is a Mid-Life quest for identity”. During this age stage in life, children are leaving the home, friends once associated through children no longer have a common thread, illnesses and death of parents are prevalent, job markets are changing and couples are divorcing.

Wanting an identity is a necessity in life. “No one is immune to this identity event; even those who seem to have everything together question who they are and why they’re here.” “Through these roles, identity is being defined by outside forces. True Identity is who you are without the labels. Who you dream to be. Who you dare to be”.

How Do I Find Me?

  • Reframe – Another Perspective

“If we listen to our ego, we only see the differences between us and other people, but if we listen to our intuition, we see the overlaps, similarities, and connections.” Some people find it easier to decide who we don’t want to be, and work towards avoiding those choices.

  • Permission

“Don’t let people tell you that you have no right to be unhappy with your life. It is okay to lose your equilibrium when others think your life should be smooth sailing. It is okay to question your life’s purpose. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know who I am.” It is better to ask the questions and seek the answers than to live a numb life. Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself.”

  • Look at You – It’s Not Selfish

Look at what you enjoy doing, and what have you thought about doing but never did. Ask yourself, what stopped you before? Is now the right time to try it? Go back to school, enroll in an enrichment class, travel, connect with old friends, write that book, embark on a new career. As soon as you are open to change, you immediately strengthen your sense of identity and you begin to grow.

No death, no doom, no anguish can arouse the surpassing despair which flows from a loss of identity.   H.P. Lovecraft                

Looking for a counselor in Grand Rapids, MI to help you or someone you know going through a quest for identity and purpose?

Give Denise a call at 616-200-4433 or email her at Denised@healthforlifegr.com

Denise DeJonge, LMSW, SSW Health for Life Grand Rapids

References:

Reynolds, M. Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction. San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler, 2010.

Bolin, Sabrina: MyMiBoSo

Mckown, Rebecca http://www.rebmkcown.com/

 

Overcoming Trauma, Depression, and Anxiety

Are you suffering from Trauma, Depression, or Anxiety? It’s time to truly overcome it. Find out how Paul Krauss can help.

Grand Rapids, MI

Paul Krauss MA LPC: “I wanted to speak directly to anyone who may be reading about how my specialized training and experience can help you.

If you are suffering from a traumatic experience, relationship break up, abuse, neglect, job loss or any other type of trauma– I have advanced training and specialized techniques (such as EMDR therapy) and I can help you feel like yourself again. No one should have to continue suffering from trauma after the event is over.

If you are suffering from depression and anxiety for whatever reason, I have 10+ years of experience helping people overcome depression and anxiety, including creative solutions and ways to actually change the brain (using techniques validated by Neurobiology–and have been proven to work through MRI scans and research).

If you are not sure what to do with your life, I have tools and years of career counseling experience to help you come up with novel options and work to find your true vocation and calling.

If you are a business leader or high achiever–I have advanced training in helping leaders and high achievers with micro issues at work and home that are causing snags and difficulties in their process of becoming great.

If you are going through a midlife or quarter life crisis–I can work with you to find the opportunity within the chaos and figure out where to go and what to do next.

Whatever you are going through, counseling can help. No matter what I specialize in, I have over 10 years of experience helping people get results and I will customize a plan to fit your unique situation.

Counseling has been empirically proven in research time and time again that counseling can be beneficial to anyone.

You can call 616-200-4433 or email me at paulk@healthforlifegr.com

and I will give you a complimentary 15 minute consultation.

Thank you for reading.”  – Paul Krauss MA LPCPaul Krauss MA LPC: Providing Psychotherapy, Consulting & Counseling Services

With an effective therapist, science shows that psychotherapy even works better in the long-term and is more enduring than medication. In fact, not only is it more cost-effective, but psychotherapy leads to fewer relapses of anxiety and mild to moderate depression than medication use alone—so much so that Norwegian Health Authorities have issued new guidelines concerning treatment of mild to moderate depression and anxiety, stating that psychological interventions, not medications, should be applied first. (Brownawell & Kelley, Monitor on Psychology, October 2011, Vol 42, No. 9)

“Not only is psychotherapy widely practiced, it is effective: Those who receive psychotherapy achieve much better outcomes than they would have had they not received psychotherapy (Lambert & Ogles, 2004; Wampold, 2001, 2007).

Learn more about Paul Krauss here or here.

To listen to Paul Krauss’ podcast:   click here.

Subscribe to The Intentional Clinician on itunes (click here).