Should I Move To A New City To Get Away From My Problems? How to Cultivate A Healthy Inner Landscape

should i move

If you are struggling with relationships, financial troubles, or anything else that might be affecting your mental health, moving far away (or even across town) has likely crossed your mind. Perhaps you are craving some separation from your problems or feel that a fresh start is what you need to get on the right track.

Depending on your circumstances, moving away may not be as helpful as you might think. It’s important to take a step back, evaluate the issues in your life, and identify where they are coming from. Only then will you be able to determine if moving would be helpful.

Instances where moving might help

  • Enmeshment

Enmeshment is when two or more individuals are so connected that boundaries become blurred or disappear altogether. This happens most commonly in families but can also form between friends or people you work with.

  • Codependency

Codependency occurs when one person in a relationship depends on the other for emotional support to the point of being unable to function independently. To learn more about codependency, check out What Codependency Is and What I Can Do About It.  

If you are in a codependent or enmeshed relationship, creating distance between yourself and the other person might help you find your independence and break the unhealthy habits that often accompany these types of relationships.

  • Abuse

If you are being abused emotionally or physically, separating yourself is vital. Abusers don’t often stop their cycle of behavior, so it’s essential to move on as quickly as possible.

Why moving might not be enough

Often, life circumstances stem from certain behaviors. For example, you may have savings because you diligently set money aside each month. The same can be true for issues that arise. Take a moment to consider the challenges you face frequently and see if you can trace them back to their root. If they come from a behavior, changing your location may not help in the long term.

Whether you decide to move or not, you must be committed to healing and growing regardless of where you live. Only then will you be able to move towards solving the issues in your life–part of which comes from healing your inner landscape.

What is your inner landscape?

Your inner landscape describes your thoughts and feelings. It encompasses how you feel about yourself and the world around you, influencing and creating your identity. This inner landscape begins to take shape as a child, as experiences and learned beliefs form how you interpret day-to-day life.

When someone’s inner landscape is unhealthy, he or she may view the world as unsafe or “out to get them.” On the flip side, someone with a healthy inner landscape can recognize that while sometimes things go wrong, it’s simply a part of life. They recognize what lies within their control and what does not.

Practices to help you cultivate a healthy inner landscape

Cultivating a healthy inner landscape can help you navigate many of life’s challenges regardless of the city you live in. Some practices include:

  • Being mindful simply describes the ability to live in the current moment without being distracted by thoughts of the past or future. Practicing mindfulness can help you understand your inner landscape as it is in the present so you can address concerns effectively.
  • Consider writing out your thoughts and feelings as they are right now. Then, expand into more significant emotions and think about how your beliefs might impact them. This method is most effective when you can discuss your findings with outside support, such as a loved one or, ideally, a therapist who can help guide you.
  • Nurturing positive relationships. Your inner landscape is significantly impacted by who you spend your time with. Consider the people around you, whether friends, family, or co-workers. How do you feel when you’re around them? Spend time with those who encourage you but who are also honest and can give constructive criticism when warranted. If you don’t have anyone you feel you can lean on, consider venturing out of your comfort zone and making new friends or reaching out to acquaintances you haven’t spoken to in a while. These relationships may take time to build, but they will be worth it in the long run.
  • Setting boundaries. In order to show respect for yourself and others, you must be able to establish limits on what is acceptable and what isn’t. Boundaries enable you to maintain a balance between giving and receiving, ensuring that you don’t deplete your energy reserves or compromise your values.
  • Developing a growth mindset. To cultivate a healthy inner landscape, it’s essential to allow yourself to grow as an individual and learn to foster resilience, adaptability, and a sense of purpose. Embracing a growth mindset means viewing challenges as opportunities for learning rather than insurmountable obstacles. A great way to start is by taking up a new hobby or learning a new skill. This perspective shift empowers you to persevere in the face of setbacks, cultivate a sense of curiosity and openness to new experiences, and ultimately thrive.
  • Seeking support. Staying in the same patterns you have always known can be tempting–in fact, it’s what most people do. But if you aren’t happy or if you feel the need to move to get away from your problems, it might be time to seek support. Attending counseling can help you get to the root of the issue and give you the tools to cope with it in a healthy manner. Facing problems head-on in this way may seem intimidating, but it’s important to remember that this journey is yours, and you and your therapist can go at a pace you are comfortable with.

So, should you move? It’s ultimately up to you to decide, but cultivating a healthy inner landscape can help you heal and grow no matter where you go. Whether you choose to move or stay, support is available. Reach out to us on our contact page or call 616-200-4433.

Learn more about the Trauma-Informed Counseling Center of Grand Rapids

Learn more about Counseling and Therapy services at Health for Life Counseling Grand Rapids

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